Is ths a Wrap ?

hola.
I know i havent realy put anything up for awhile. Lo-key busy wid applications and scholarships
and shopping &nd a whole lotta other shit. My world seems so crazy rite now from hopinq to get accepted to a good school, to finding money to go to one, to shoppn for lovd ones and their gifts, tryna maintain school and the ppl tht gO there, helpN gramms wid stuff at home, to maintainin a relationship thts so far on th rocks that thiss may actually be a wrap. Speakn of this relationship the heart of my life rite now is Deandre. Weve been together since New Years. Like we actually got togethr 5 minutes aftr the countdown. Crazy ritE !!!Lemme jst give you an insight of wat dude is about. Hes a Bomb lookn dude, 9teen, flyer thn evr, dark &nd tall, ralphn Lauren/lacoste &nd creative Recs/Jordans wearn guy,[ stay fresh], sweet, he puts me 1st, he keeps me laced in the flyest, workn man, in college, pushn, he'll make sure his family has everything they need before he spends any $$$ on himself, he loves kids and he's jst an all around great guy. But gettn to the point like eveery relationship we have our downs. Weve really been having trust issues as far as eachothr. At first it was him for the first 7 months but as time progressd I noticd that I myself was havn issues as well. Now whn I say trust issues btw me &nd him I mean as far as whos this # in ur phone, or why is ol dude askn to kick it wid u, or why didnt u answer ur phone wat cud u have possibly been doing...&nd questions of that nature. Now of course a good relationship jst wont work without trust &nd we both know that but everytime we find ourselves tryna get over it shit keeps comn up &nd we end up at square one again. Now i kno i cud get ovr the whole trusting stage &nd trust him cuz hes a good man &nd i kno hes not reckless out there but its him !!! he cant trust shit i do fOR SHIT! Okay i admit ive lied a few times ovr dumb stuff but Ive learnd frm these mistakes &nd im trying not to let it happn again. They were reckless mistakes that i thought at the moment wouldnt make him upset but all they really did was add to more problems &nd confusions that we jst didnt need. Ive definitely learned frm the mistakes. But for some reason he jst wont let it go. I mean if you love me &nd you want ths like you say you do thn Ima need you to let the past go so we can grow in
thiss relationship. Besides trust being the problem every othr week for us, thiss week was anothr horrible one....
So i guess its this girl thats supposedly all his homies think is ugly or watevr and its his homegirl. which is fine. i dont mind homegirls as long as they know their boundaries. But ol girl calls way too much to tlk too him abt BS. Plus she dont need to be calln whn me &nd Deandre togethr. So me &nd him were sleep &nd she calls and I answerd it. i surely let her know tht were sleep rite now and whn he wakes up hes gooin to work so ill have him call u whn he can. Yess. jst like tht. so I told him abt how i felt- like she was doin to muchh in her texts and she calls way too much. Ovr steppn her "frndly Boundaries" &nd it led to an argument like shit always does. he felt like I shuda jst kept it 100 &nd i shuda told him tht same nite, tht i dont lik any of his frnds, Im beginning to play games now and hes passed tht level or watevr to where sometimes it makes him not want to be in this relationship. &nd I let him know tht If he felt tht way thn maybe he needs to rethink this relationship &nd decide if this is where he wants to be or not. He can use tht level stuff if he wants too but tht has nuthnn to do with wat i approachd him with. yeah Okay mayb i shuda jst let him kno tht nite how i felt instead of aktn upset &nd sayn nuthn was wrong knownn i was pissd off at tht hoe but still he shud have atleast took into consideration of where i was comn from. So yeah i havent heard from him since monday &nd its now thursday.[the longest of these 11 months weve gone without tlkn to eachothr.] Soooo well see wat happens. Apart of me wants to let go &nd focus on the othr important things in my life, but apart of me still wants thiss . at the end of the day thiss is someone that i truely care about &nd LOVE.